Dating Season - A cricket analogy

I had a friend explain his concept of dating season (and due to him be a lazy S.O.B. - I am blogging it).

To begin with one must first understand that the dating season is not a pre-defined period but merely a length of time where the "player" is eligible to be a contender.

Eligibility is defined on the following basis:

-The Player is single.
-The Player has been cleared of all mental illness.
-The Player sports the correct attire.
-The Player is well aware of the playing rules.
-The Player's equipment is in good working order and has been cleared of any dangerous substances.
-Additional equipment may be utilised, if it is of a reasonable nature.

The rules are as follows:
1. The object of the game is for the Player to accumulate runs, whilst protecting his/her stumps from being dislodged.
a. The Player's score will be compared to the other players involved and he or she with the most runs is considered the victor.
b. The Player's innings may be calculated over many evenings, but and is not restricted to the number of deliveries played.
c. The Player's innings is considered over when of the out constraints have been reached.
d. The Player may be of either the male or female persuasion, the intention of this game is to play to the relevant opposite - although it has been known for some Player's to play for both teams.
e. A Team member will usually bat with the Player, although some players tend to prefer to bat alone.
f. The Team member or members may be required to aid the Player in accumulating as many runs as necessary. The Team member/s may also accumulate should the opportunity present itself.
2. Playing offensively will result in runs being awarded as follows:
a. A single for making contact with a prospect delivery
i. Contact is determined as conversation with the delivery
ii. The conversation must occur for a minimum of 3 minutes without interruption.
iii. Contact that is terminated for whatever reason before the 3 minutes is up but without an out constraint being reached is considered to be a "no-run" condition.
b. Two or Three runs will be scored if the Player manages to negotiate the delivery toward some sort of physical contact or free drink. A Player purchasing said drink to further enhance the innings will result in a "no-run" condition.
c. A boundary (4 runs) is scored when said interested party and the Player engage in some "tongue in cheek" behavior. This has a few different sporting terminologies: a lunge, a score, pulling in, tucking in, snogging, lashing and of course a kissing (French if you are really still unsure).
d. A maximum boundary is scored when the Player and the delivery make direct contact and leave the arena.
3. The Player may be considered out if any of the following occurs
a. The delivery has already been smashed for a boundary (or maximum boundary and is leaving the arena).
b. The delivery is unplayable leaving the Player stumped.
c. The delivery has been tampered with.
d. The delivery may be considered illegal if the authenticity is in question or the age of the action is not discernable - a proof of authenticity may be required before attempting to play said delivery.
e. A Run-out occurs when the either the Player or his team mate perform any behavior that destroys all hope of continuing the innings.
i. This will include any or all disturbing behavior (note Rule 2 of Eligibility has already been passed)
ii. Misconduct of any type - such as attempting to tamper with the delivery before obtaining permission.
iii. Playing the wrong delivery i.e. the team mate attempts to interfere with the Player's delivery.
Game play:
A Player will be expected to utilise his abilities to perform to be the best. It is important to note that many Players tend to end their innings (sometimes the season) prematurely when bowled over by a delivery (Stumps have been removed and are cart wheeling into oblivion). The season can continue indefinitely but it is assumed that the summer period is the focus period for all team players.
The better Player's tend to bat throughout the season, continuously accumulating runs while enforcing a high level of quality and conduct.